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Does anybody know The Simpsons well enough to remember the song at the end of Homer at the Bat? If so then sing-a-long:

Well Harry Kane had done it
He’d only gone and won it
He scored in August now we can all smile
In the bottom corner with some style

…. and so on.

That puts to bed the latest ridiculous EPL witch’s curse surrounding players whose inability to perform every week can’t be explained by standard rationale. Harry Kane had never scored a Premier League goal in the month of August, but now he has, so we can get back to business. Spurs dispatched a doggedly determined (albeit only for ten minutes after half time) Fulham, and Kane’s goal was as sweet as you like – just what you’d expect from the Golden Boot winner. Shame he plays for Tottenham.


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The EPL marquee matchup this weekend was Chelsea vs Arsenal and it did not disappoint, unless you’re an Arsenal fan. It was the game of the cut back, with classic wing play resulting in the leagues most difficult surnames: Aubameyang and Mkhitaryan, seeing who could clear the crossbar by the biggest margin. There were no prizes for the winner, only the dream of what could have been. Chelsea were good for their 3-2 win but needed that pesky Edin Hazard to come and rescue them. Arsenal have zero points from two games, a feat that Arsene Wenger never achieved.


Jose Mourinho is such a surly pantomime villain at the moment that surely everybody wants Man Utd to lose, which they did so on Sunday to Brighton. Incidentally, Brighton and Hove Albion F.C. is the sort of classic footballing name from which MLS clubs should have sought influence (take note: Sporting Kansas City.) Anyhow, The Special One has been complaining that his players aren’t good enough, and it can’t be long before the board replace him with somebody a bit more upbeat about the squad.


Newcastle United spent all of their money on a failed department store so their game with Cardiff was highlighted only by a sending off, but not of the calibre seen at Leicester City. Jamie Vardy, he who is having a party, tested the limits of the new NFL tackling rules and got his just desserts.

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Around the rest of the league West Ham are doing as well as Arsenal, Everton showed resolve to beat Southampton and Manchester City are still really good at football. That nephew of Diego Maradona is pretty handy too. Finally Burnley and Watford played their match on Sunday, which is weird because the only reason to move an EPL game away from 3pm (UK time) on a Saturday is so people can watch it on the tele; I can’t see why anybody would want to watch Burnley vs Watford. To each their own, I suppose.