A little off the grid here for the readers of Boston Sports Extra, but one of the biggest (and sure to be disappointing) sporting events is just hours away.
Conor McGregor versus Floyd Mayweather. Mixed Martial Arts versus Boxing. Ireland versus Badhumanistan.
Vegas odds have this publicity debacle going all Mayweather (+400 last I checked). As a proud Irish-American, I am certainly pulling for “The Notorious” (not to mention I have never been a fan of domestic abusers…but I digress).
Lowell’s Irish Boxing Heritage
Anyway, today I am here to speak on behalf of the City of Lowell, Massachusetts. Lowell is the birthplace and home to arguably the greatest “Irish” fighter in history, Micky Ward.
Ward was a journeyman boxer who literally and figuratively punched his way to the top of the fight game in the 1990s and early 2000s. Most remember Ward for his epic three-fight installment against Arturo “Thunder” Gatti, which included possibly the greatest round in history, right Jim Lampley? Do yourself a favor, take a three-minute break from reading this and watch Round 9 .
Besides his battles against Gatti, Ward gained fame for two other things…
- His story, told on the big screen in the Oscar winning movie, The Fighter. Mark Wahlberg made his own personal love of Ward and his history a Hollywood classic.
- His brother. Self-proclaimed boxing legend Dickie Eklund. Dickie is famous for “knocking down” Sugar Ray Leonard and, of course, his 1995 HBO Special, High on Crack Street.
Boxing Strategy, Run Amok
Point being, Lowell natives know a few things about insane Irish behavior, boxing, and on-screen drama…so we have a great appreciation and understanding of this Mayweather-McGregor media phenomenon that surely won’t live up to Round 9. On the bright side, I polled some of Lowell’s ‘sophistcants’ and asked for their advice, suggestions and general commentary they could offer Mr. McGregor, in victory or defeat.
Here are some of my favorites…(again, not my words…just some unfiltered truth from the Mill City)
- Dress up like a woman, Bugs Bunny style, cause then if you get hit, it violates Mayweather probation and he goes to jail. Automatic win.
- Have a couple of beers before the fight. The Irish are always tougher after a few pops.
- Imagine — if you win, Conor, you get a rotary named after you.
- Any chance the Lucky Charms guy is available for your entourage?
- Irish guy in Vegas in August? Don’t worry about odds, worry about the sun poisoning.
- You have the opportunity to go back to Ireland with a world championship belt. Most Irish guys only return on with the clap
- Worst part of your trip is probably recognizing that EVERYONE is Vegas has that tiger chest tattoo
- If you leave Las Vegas without your head in a vice or ice picks in your balls; consider yourself a winner (Casino reference, btw)
- Best advice I can offer Conor, borrow $6mill from Dana White and bet on Mayweather
- If you lose, you cant wear your ‘Fuck You’ suit anymore. But you can borrow my ‘I got fucked up suit. (Hint, its really just a Larry Bird jersey and some wind pants)
- If you are gonna bite his ear, at least finish your meal. There are kids in Ireland that would kill for an ear.
- If you are gonna lose, use the golden rule we all learned, kick your opponent.
- We all know you are gonna lose. The least you could do is try to fight like the Notre Dame mascot
Yeah anyway…so ‘man on the street’ in Lowell gathered a lot of….insight? Candor? Analysis? I don’t know but this city is totally batshit.
Enjoy the fight, lads!
P.S. Watch a real series of fights here