Who Would You Want at Your Side for a Bar Fight: Boston Sports Edition

Mathew Bluestein

6 years ago

Patriots: Rob Gronkowski -By @Boston_sports18

If I had to pick a Boston athlete to win a bar fight, it’s got to be Gronk. Rob grew up in a house with four brothers, and each has gone pro. They pushed each other every single day, making Rob an absolute beast.

Getty Images

Gronk’s father had them all on a training regimen at an early age. This eventually led Gronk to become arguably the best TE the NFL has ever seen. He has incredible blocking skills and unmatched work ethic. While running with the ball after the catch, forget about bringing him down without a cheap shot to the knee. He’s known for swatting linebackers and corners off of him like annoying mosquitoes at a BBQ. Gronkowski finished one block to the point he actually threw the defender off of the field into the media section. “I had to throw him out the club,” Gronkowski said after the game. THIS IS THE GUY I WANT.

Keith Bedford Boston Globe

Besides Gronk’s football toughness, I’m pretty sure he can hold his own at the bar. He’s also good friends with WWE star Mojo Rawley, who Gronk has actually been training with. Last year Gronk even stepped into the ring. He got into a three-point stance and clotheslined another wrestler. Real or fake, Gronk is an animal and would be my top choice of Boston athletes to have in a bar fight. Tough, big and known to party. For me, this is an easy choice. It’s Rob Gronkowski.

Bruins: Zdeno Chara -By @TheBigBlue30

If I am picking any Boston sports athlete to win a bar fight, it is without a doubt Boston Bruins defenseman and Captain Zdeno Chara. At 6’9″ and over 250 pounds, Big Z is a physical powerhouse. If you follow him on Instagram, you would know how much of freak of nature the guy really is. His workouts put superheroes to shame, whether he is climbing up a 30-foot rope and back down in the blink of an eye, riding the Tour de France every summer, or shoulder pressing over 400 pounds. Chara is a physical specimen, unlike any other human being. The scary part, however, is that Chara’s physique and fitness are the least of people’s worries. His father is a former Olympic Roman Greco wrestler, which Big Z has been practicing since a young age.

On top of all that the guy is a genius. He earned a financial planning diploma from Algonquin College in Ottawa in 2015, and took classes at the University of Harvard over this past summer. There is a reason why nobody in the NHL fights Zdeno Chara. Just ask former NHL winger David Koci, who Chara beat so bad in a fight you would have thought he was making a blood donation to the Red Cross. In conclusion, if you don’t pick Zdeno Chara for a bar fight, you are just downright stupid.

Celtics: Marcus Smart -By @jackbuffett_

If I’m picking one player from the Celtics to have my back in a bar fight, I have to choose Marcus Smart. No matter what situation I’m getting into, if he’s on my side, he’s going to fight. Doesn’t matter how many guys, how big, how menacing, Smart will challenge each and every one of them. Ever seen an altercation during a Celtics game? Every time, without fail, Smart is either the one causing it or the first one to a teammate’s defense. It also helps that Smart is the most all-out hustle player on the team, so I’d assume he’d take the same attitude in a bar fight. Smart is an incredibly passionate player. Some players on the court are always emotionless- that’s never him. No matter what he’s doing, he’s going to get super into whatever that activity is. It also helps that Smart is built like a tank at 6’4″, 225 pounds, and absolutely ripped. If I get one phone call to fight some guys at a bar, it’s to Marcus Smart.

Red Sox: Joe Kelly -By @_porchie

BOSTON, MA – APRIL 11: Tyler Austin #26 of the New York Yankees fights Joe Kelly #56 of the Boston Red Sox during the seventh inning at Fenway Park on April 11, 2018 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

If I were to pick any Boston Red Sox player to be on my side in a bar fight there would only be one option. Joe Kelly would totally have my back! Did you see not only the way he taunted Tyler Austin, but throw him down and was ready to beat him down. If it wasn’t for Aaron Judge that man would probably not be alive right now! He has the fire and intensity that I would want in my corner 100%. That’s why my pick is Joe Kelly.

Claude Dielna Working Out | Photo Credit | Claude Dielna

Revolution: Claude Dielna -By @Marbies3762

While Claude Dielna is only 6’0″ tall and only weighs 190 pounds, he can pack a punch. Anyone who follows him on Instagram knows when he isn’t at practice he is in the weight room. There are plenty of taller guys on the Revs that could be good picks as well, but none are as good as Claude. He has a much different work mentality than everyone else on the team. When he leaves practice, he trains at home. If he isn’t playing in a game, he is training. When Claude goes to Chipotle, he orders double meat. Every game he plays, he out muscles and throws guys to the ground. In a bar fight, there’s no doubt that Claude would go off. The guy is jacked. Without a doubt, when it comes to bar fights, he’s the guy I want by my side.