Tag Archives: NFL Steelers

Pittsburgh Steelers: Rest In Peace

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I have a confession to make. I take joy in other people’s pain. I’m not particularly proud of the fact, but I don’t think I’m alone.

I love that Roger Goodell’s NFL is dying in the ratings. The 2017-18 regular season marked the second consecutive significant decline. Last week’s divisional playoffs were down eleven percent nationally. Good.

And I love that ESPN continues to be a dumpster fire. From tanking ratings, to widespread sexual harassment by on-air personalities, and President Jon Skipper resigning over substance abuse issues, I have enjoyed every minute of their demise. I hope everyone on that network has to dive through Taco Bell dumpsters just to feed their families. Ok, maybe that was too much. I hope their families leave them before that happens.

But, as much as I hate Goodell and his mouthpieces in Bristol, I hate our enemies on the field even more. That’s why I’m taking almost obscene pleasure in the current state of affairs in Pittsburgh. You know, the team we were destined to play in the AFC Championship game this weekend.

The Symptoms of Disaster

How on earth did the Pittsburgh Steelers lose a home playoff game to the Jacksonville Jaguars? The answer is simple: they are not the New England Patriots. Pittsburgh is loaded with talent, yes. But, they are poorly coached, undisciplined, and childish. They are the anti-Patriots.

From the final whistle of their annual loss to New England in Week 15, Steelers players, coaches, and fans spent the better part of a month talking about their inevitable rematch in the AFC Championship Game. Hell, even a month before that December game, Mike Tomlin predicted the match-up in a ridiculous interview with NBC’s Tony Dungy.

But after Week 15 the chorus from the Tin City – sorry, steel is hard, you’re not – was loud and confident. Not only were they going to play the Pats in the AFC Championship game, they were going to win. They were the better team. According to Safety Mike Mitchell, it didn’t matter if the game were in hell, Haiti, or Foxborough.

The problem is, of course, that Pittsburgh has all the swagger and none of the game. New England was so in their heads that they forgot the cardinal rule of the NFL – on any given Sunday, anyone can beat you. Bill Belichick’s Patriots would never look past an opponent, certainly not in the playoffs.

Other symptoms of Pittsburgh’s season-long lack of discipline and focus include:

  • Le’Veon Bell threatening to retire in the off-season if the Steelers franchise tag him rather than sign him to a long-term deal.
  • Offensive coordinator Todd Haley shattering his pelvis after being involved in a “situation” outside a Pittsburgh bar that he and his wife had just been thrown out of.
  • Ben Roethlisberger throwing every possible coach under the bus all season long when things didn’t go their way.

The Wrong Overreaction

Pittsburgh’s response to their division-round loss to Jacksonville was typical of many bad franchises. They drew the wrong lessons and overreacted.

Rather than listen to the finally rising chorus calling from Tomlin’s ouster, they fired offensive coordinator Todd Haley. Okay, technically he wasn’t fired, they just didn’t renew his contract. But, he was fired. So, the team that put up 42 points against the Jags didn’t have enough offense? Interesting assessment.

Haley had been the offensive coordinator since 2012, and in the last four seasons had guided the Steelers to no worse than the 7th best offense in the league.  This season, Pittsburgh finished as the third best offense behind only (you guessed it) the Patriots and the Saints. Offense isn’t Pittsburgh’s problem. Leadership and culture are.

As if to double down on their poor decision, Tomlin not only didn’t get rid of anyone on the defensive side of the coaching tree, he gave them a vote of confidence. This, of course, is a group that allowed Blake Bortles to hang 38 points on them.

As commonplace as it’s become for idiots like the CHB to claim New England plays in a division full of tomato cans, it’s ridiculous how Pittsburgh gets a pass for the quality of the AFC North. Tomlin is an awful coach. His teams have simply benefited from playing Cleveland and Cincinnati twice a year – who unlike Miami and Buffalo have neither a defense nor an offense.

Poor management of undisciplined and unfocused players is a recipe for disaster in the NFL. As Patriots fans, we should be thankful that the Pittsburgh Steelers are too dumb to recognize their flaws.

Patriots Fans Embrace the Hate

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Like the children of overly strict parents, America hates the New England Patriots and their fans. We’re your daddy. Sure, occasionally you get one over on us – or two in Eli Manning’s case – but for the better part of seventeen years we’ve spanked you and sent you to your rooms crying.

Make no mistake, it’s not enough for us to simply lift Lombardi’s. No, we want to make you angry. We relish your resentful jealousy. We bathe in the salty tears of your disappointment. The fires of your hate keep us warm in the cold New England winters.

Tears of the Vanquished

The truly great thing about being a Patriots fan is this: it doesn’t matter who we beat, the whole country loses their minds about it. Those of us who are old enough to remember watching Steve Grogan or Tony Eason know that we need to cherish every victory; we haven’t always been so fortunate. But some victories are sweeter than others.

Beating the Steelers – as we do with simply absurd frequency – always satisfies the soul more than a normal win. To do it in Pittsburgh, after a textbook Brady 4th quarter drive and an end zone interception rivaled only by Malcolm Butler’s Super Bowl clinching INT over Seattle – makes it even more special.

But the greatest part, it’s what gets us up early to troll the internet, listen to sports talk radio or, God forbid, turn on ESPN is getting to hear the incessant whining. From the Pittsburgh locker room, the legions of Steelers fans, and the incalculable throngs of Patriot haters from Buffalo to Denver – the chorus of complaints is music to our ears.

New England: Not Arrogant, Just Better Than You

Pittsburgh was the better team for much of last night’s game. What was billed as the game of the year lived up to the hype. For once, Tomlin’s squad wasn’t steamrolled. They moved the ball well, dominated possession, and got pressure on Brady. The Steelers did almost everything they needed to win. They should have won.

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They didn’t win for a number of reasons. First, obviously, Big Ben went bust and threw a terrible pick. Second, obviously, Jesse James dropped what should have been the game winning touchdown. And third, inexplicably, they decided not to double Gronk at any point on New England’s final drive or two-point conversion.

Pittsburgh was the better team until it actually mattered. Then, as usual, they got out played.

The Catch That Wasn’t

Like everyone watching the game live, I thought James caught the ball, broke the plane, and maintained possession. That’s because the live shot was from the backside of the play and a million feet away. The second America saw the replay it was clear the ball not only moved, but touched the ground.

It doesn’t matter if he broke the plane. It doesn’t matter that he wasn’t touched by a defender. He didn’t maintain control through the ground. As famed Patriot-hater Tony Dungy said on Football Night In America, “this is absolutely the right call based on the rule”.

There isn’t a league official or football analyst who thinks that Jesse James caught that ball by the letter of the rule. Not one. It’s clear that he lost possession as he went to the ground. We can argue about the ridiculous nature of the rule all we want, but from Calvin Jonson to Dez Bryant to Adam Thielen last week, that’s always been an incomplete pass.

The Glory of Twitter

The greatest aspect of not just this win, but how this win was achieved, has to be the reaction across the Twittersphere. Pittsburgh’s Scott Kacsmar (@FO_ScottKacsmar) spent hours criticizing the rule and then shifted his attention to how weak the AFC East is. Ironic that this comes for a guy whose team plays the Browns and Bengals twice a year.

My personal favorite comes from Buffalo’s Sal Maiorana (@salmaiorana). You know, Buffalo – home of the “Bills Mafia” and epicenter of drunken tailgate videos and Super Bowl runner-ups. Inside of twenty minutes, Sal made my night almost as much as the Patriots. He called it “one of the worst calls you’ll ever see” and proclaimed he loved it “when the most entitled fan base in the universe revels in its good fortune with the very arrogance that [we] loathe most about them”. Music to my ears.

That someone is so obsessed with New England that they dedicate their lives to crying about games their team wasn’t even in is glorious. Sal, buddy, you complete me. I take so much joy in your suffering I can’t even explain it. When, not if, Brady wins his sixth Super Bowl we’ll have Bob Kraft fly you in for the party. It’s the only way you’ll get that close to a Lombardi.