Stanley Cup Game 5 is upon us. Puck drops in a few hours. Biggest questions and concern on Bruins fans’ minds? What is Captain Zdeno Chara’s status? After taking a brutal deflected puck to the face last game, his future in this series is uncertain.

Is his jaw broken? Shattered? Did it land somewhere in the upper deck of TD Garden? Does Jack Edwards steal it off the ice and now it sits on his mantel from insanity? No one knows for sure. Speculation across the board and the Bruins are have gone darker than Wayne Gretsky’s dye job on the subject. What is going to happen here, people? As I type this I just learned Z’s jaw is wired and he is speaking to media with written messages, but “cleared” to play. Do’H!

D’Oh no, Zdeno

Scenarios & Reactions

While Z’s series playing future remains a 6’9″ question mark, I want to offer a few possible scenarios and the correlating reaction by Bruin’s fans. Some are good, some are bad. And there is actually the possibility we could see some storybook, Patriots-level ending to this Cup Final.


Zdeno returns tonight to play in Game 5. He is reinjured. Bruins lose game and then the series.

Boston Reaction: Fire Cassidy, burn the Garden down. Bring us the heads of any of Lord Stanley’s living heirs.

SCENARIO #2: Chara never returns to Series, despite clearance. Bruins win without him.

Boston Reaction: “Ship him back to Tall-istan. Waste of cash! I’m glad his jaw is broke so we never need to hear him speak again.

SCENARIO #3: Chara never return to series. Bruins lose cup in 6 games.

Boston Reaction: “We total would have frickin’ won that thing if that big prick was in the lineup…”


Chara plays Game 5 only for Penalty Kills (PKs) and the Bs win. Reinjured, he can’t play Game 6. Bruins lose. PRIOR to Game 7, he writes down on a wipeboard for the press, “BRUINS CAPTURE CUP IN 7!!!”
Captain Chara scores the game (and Cup) winning goal and retires as oldest and tallest Bruin. Statues are being built presently.

And we have the pleasure of witnessing this again…

Boston Reaction: Every real Bruins fan intentionally breaks their own jaw (preferably by a puck to the chops from their best buddy). They each write down “City of Champions” on their forged doctor’s note. And then, the whole city hums the Czechoslovakian National Anthem while the Duck Boats pass on by.

I certainly like the last scenario myself.